[Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence]
When someone you consider a good friend beats the shit out of his girlfriend, you won’t know how he ever slipped passed your radar. How is it that you couldn’t tell he was one or two girlfriends away from putting a woman in the hospital? Especially since you know the type, the dirty, punky, dark, debaucherous, depraved, vengeful type. The guy who could watch snuff because he found it “interesting.” Lots of people are intrigued by the most disgusting aspects of humanity, right? You’ll never think of him the same. You’ll never trust him with your thoughts; you’ll see fists every time he talks. Even if he’s sorry, it’ll never be enough. Respect lost.
By Angela Page
(Source: loveyourrebellion)
Get ready for Issue #2 of Love Your Rebellion: A Feminist Zine for Everyday Rebels!
"When men make choices about what women do with their sexuality, that strengthens the idea that men can control women’s bodies. When people in power refuse to take women’s rape charges seriously, it means there are no consequences for rapists, which makes them more free to rape. When authorities use their power to deliberately silence rape victims instead of helping them find justice, it not only leaves rapists free but intimidates other victims from coming forward. When our media won’t talk about rape, people think it doesn’t happen, and the rapists face no consequences. When women are too afraid of being re-victimized by the courts and the media to come forward, and when the public gets the message that women who accuse men of rape are lying or did something to deserve it, the cycle continues."
-“This is What Rape Culture Looks Like,” by Jaclyn Friedman(Source: loveyourrebellion)
Fuck You of the Week: Facebook Comments Containing Rape Jokes
Every morning I sit on the toilet with my lap top and browse Facebook, maybe because I’ll no doubt run across something in my feed that will make me want to take a big shit. This morning, it was this:
Most mornings, my dear friend who posted the article above from Alternet is the one who curtails such comments on his Facebook page because he is a women’s advocate, and he has the ability to engage with such ignorance without his blood pressure skyrocketing. But he was not online, and this particular morning, I could not let this rape joke go without response:
After getting on with my day for a bit, I returned to Facebook. I saw that my comment had prompted another. By this point, my friend who posted the article was offline. My hopes were that feminist trolling would be enough to help the original rape joker to see the error in his thinking, but it turns out he did not want to eat the shit he dishes out. Another sexist, no doubt feeling the power structure shift, began to get involved in the conversation with the most common response to a little disdain for rape jokes:
The next part is where shit starts to get real. I had reached a turning point in the exchange where I had to decide between continuing to mask my anger and frustration with blatant sarcasm through a response like, “What, can’t take a joke?” or start talking real talk. I went for option 2:
At this point, I could tell that real talk was not going to get through to any of them. Admittedly, the conversation was happening quickly, and there was so much more I could have said, and I regret being rather dismissive of male rape survivors (it just irks me that men immediately go to this defense, as if to say, “Hey! We have rape survivors, too, and they are fine with rape jokes!” Actually, they are most likely not…). However, by this point there were 3 males telling me what rape is and isn’t, what a joke is or isn’t, and what my experience of both is or isn’t.
So my next attempt was to explain my experience and perspective of rape and rape jokes in hopes they would take a step back; again, no avail:
Now, there are two reasons I went this route:
The first was to highlight the reality present in their joke—this fucking happened to me, and jokes like the one made by the original poster make it difficult for women to even consider something like what happened to me wrong because rape jokes normalize, invalidate, and trivialize sexual violence.
The second was to elicit a response— any response — by one or more of the commenters. I thought, if any of these folks are decent humans they might respond with compassion and understanding — which the following commenter began to offer, only to then dismiss my experience with rape and rape jokes by saying “jokes are jokes” and if “they are real, they are better.”
That last bit brings to light an interesting point, which was then pronounced by the joke at my expense. Of course, the type of response I expected to elicit was the one I received: my experience of sexual violence was trivialized and invalidated by a rape joke. This was nothing but another mechanism to shut me up, which is what every man in this thread was trying to get me to do, whether consciously or subconsciously. One after the other they came to the defense of rape jokes and their right to tell them (their experience), and not one would accept my experience as the psychologically damaging reality it was, lest it make them think twice about whether their rape jokes are funny or not.
You see, rape jokes don’t stop at the fictitious, the unreal, the never-happened; in fact, they hinge on the fact that rape happens, to men and women, a lot. They are often told about the real experiences of real people, and in fear of the public humiliation that is everyone laughing at your trauma, many rapes go unreported; many people never speak about their rape to anyone, let alone make it public on the internet; many people keep that secret locked in a box so close to their heart that it’s only taken out when they are completely alone.
Although I experienced said public humiliation, I’m not sorry I made my experience public. Sure, I cried this morning in response to this exchange and had to speak with my dear friend the advocate (who will return shortly to our story) in order to regain some perspective, but it’s more important to me that the men I had the exchange with know that there isn’t a ball gag big enough to shut me up, and that I’m not ashamed of being a rape survivor.
I know that the conversation did not end there, but I let my dear friend the advocate continue the discussion where I left off, because, well, quite frankly I’m done with it. There is nothing more intimate and real that I can offer other my experience; the rest is social theory that one can learn and engage with regardless of privilege—if that privilege is checked:
It’s important to acknowledge that I had a male ally here, a real ally. I know he will continue this conversation as long as he can without repeating himself while acknowledging that it’s his maleness that gives him credibility with the other men, and that that itself is part of his privilege. Maybe between my candid experience and my friend’s continued dialogue, minds can be changed. And even if they aren’t, my refusal to stay silent or be shamed is paramount to my continued internal fight against the patriarchy.
(Source: loveyourrebellion)
You Guise!
My excellent fucking boyfriend just started a feminist tumblr dedicated to educating straight, cis men on feminism, and how it impacts masculinity and men’s relationships with women.
Follow it NOW
Who’s the luckiest grrrl of all?
(Source: loveyourrebellion)
Moscow police have detained two more members of the feminist punk band Pussy Riot as part of a criminal probe launched after the group stormed the altar of Moscow’s largest cathedral and performed a protest song, a police spokesperson said on Sunday
"While all these things were very special, none were half as rewarding as having a baby with the person who is the supreme example of dignity, ethics and honesty. My wife challenges injustice and the reason her character has been so severly attacked is because she chooses not to function the way the white corporate man insists. His rules for women involve her being submissive, quiet and non-challenging. When she doesn’t follow his rules, the threatened man gets scared."
-Kurt Cobain, from the Incesticide liner notes.(Source: loveyourrebellion)
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